14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

Never been to a SoulCycle class? Your fave celebs have, and here’s what you should expect from the intense, and intensely fun, workout.

1. You will be greeted by tan, dewy goddesses — who also happen to be super-helpful.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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Via Tumblr.com

2. You will be outfitted with special shoes that are a mix between bowling shoes and the clop-clop wooden joints worn by Pinocchio.

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Disney / i5.photobucket.com

You will use said shoes to affix yourself to the bike, like a horse being hooved.

3. You will make your way down a narrow, neon sign-lit hallway on your way to a dimly lit studio.

You will make your way down a narrow, neon sign-lit hallway on your way to a dimly lit studio.

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Much like a holding area for a futuristic ride in Disney World… or a scene from Tron: Legacy.

4. You will hear kick-ass dance music. Lots of Drake, too.

You will hear kick-ass dance music. Lots of Drake, too.

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Whom I envision would mount his bike like so.

5. Your instructor — who may or may not be inked like a road map — will look like a DJ.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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6. You will hear awesome mashups.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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And you will think to yourself, Why didn’t I lay Jay-Z’s “Dirt Off Your Shoulder” over The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony” years ago?!

7. You will wish you (or the person in front of you) had worn cotton underwear.

You will wish you (or the person in front of you) had worn cotton underwear.

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Flickr: funkybug / Creative Commons

And not a thong, because we ride as a pack, you see, which makes it easy to flash your neighbor some crack.

8. Your instructor will say that next you’ll be doing pushups — on the bike.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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And this will sound impossible.

9. You will ask yourself what the likelihood is that you will do a somersault clean over the handlebars.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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… And if the bike would come with you.

10. But you will feel like a freakin’ rock star when you knock out those pushups and stay on beat!

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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11. You will sweat like a pig, except pigs don’t sweat, so you will moreso sweat like:

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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Disney / tumblr.com

12. Your instructor will encourage you not to judge yourself, and to draw energy from the person next to you.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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And you will love the stranger next to you for sharing that energy — or you will try to outpedal her.

13. Just when you think your thighs are about to go numb, you will close your eyes, breathe deeply and power your way through that last song!

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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14. You will realize that you loved every minute of it.

14 Things That Will Happen In Your First SoulCycle Class

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NBC / tumblr.com

Just as you begin to calculate how many meals you have to miss in order to afford a membership….

Thumbnail photo from Soulcycle.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/driadonnaroland/things-that-will-happen-in-your-first-soulcycle-class

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